I realize I haven't posted in forever. Lets see... Karla moved to Portland Oregon for a PR job with Americore, but we're still close. I intern for a music industry paper called the Aquarian Weekly writing spotlights for shows and Pedi cab in Manhattan,,, its like a bike/taxi thing its a lot of fun. Anyway... I had the scariest night of my life last night, and if I don't write something about it I'm gonna drive myself crazy. I got these 'woodrow seeds' in the mail the other day; they were pitched to be by a telemarketer for a company that sells legal herbal drugs. They were fairly cheap, 50 for 33$ and 'several' is supposed to be a 'decent' trip according to the telemarketer. Around 6 I ate ten... 'then' read online that one seed is equal to ten morning glory seeds, the amount needed to make an LSD hit, and the company website said simply 'not for ingestion'. I thought I was gonna become a vegetable,,, and then die a slow painful death of insomnia. A friend of mine took them with me, but he came down when he was supposed to around midnight. About 2 or 3 hours into my trip I noticed my thoughts were starting to become increasingly obsessive and repetitive, like a skipping tape. About 8 hours in I had thoroughly convinced myself that I was going to die if I didn't find a way to get out of this 'thought loop' or some shit,, yet I was still able to talk coherently and move around though I had little vision, no sense of direction and no memories that didn't almost turn into a flashback. And I had never felt more cold hearted in my life, nothing seemed to have any meaning at all. I started thinking of all these books I read where the main character learns so much he commits suicide and the red apple from the Garden of Eden in the Bible. I couldn't shake it and no one believed me when I tried to tell them what was happening to me. I couldn't even convince my own parents because I was still able to talk fine as far as they could hear. I called 911 and asked them were I could take a taxi to a psych ward... they sent a fuckin ambulance that took me to a hospital without a single psych worker on staff. Doctors and nurses were looking at each other like I was something out of a sci fi movie. I was talking fine, I was moving around fine, but I was apparently tripping hard, sweating and I didn't know what was happening to me and I couldn't move around without getting lost. Every doctor that looked at me and at each other in disbelief made me all the more convinced that I was going to die if I didn't find a way to get to sleep. I hate sleep, because I always want it and never have time for it... so I considered it ironic that I would die of insomnia. And my delusional mind was finding any reason it could to confirm that belief. When the sun was rising about 12 hours in (now at my uncle's place, god bless him) this old Donald Duck cartoon came on cartoon network where he was being chased by these little devils that were spearing him and cornering him. All night everyone was telling me I would often pause and come back. Finally around 11 a.m. I became truly exhausted and was able to fall asleep,,, but up until 8 or 9 a.m. I was still struggling to shake that state of mind. I spent almost the whole night in that state... it will stay with me forever... I know its true that not everyone comes back from those experiences and even though I know the whole things sounds silly I still feel lucky that I came back at all. The thing that gets me now is... one of the main ironies for me throughout the night was that throughout all of the doctors and tests and questions (this will sound dorky, and crazy) all I wanted was to be held by a woman,,, so much so that I thought my life depended on it, cause I couldn't imagine any other way of calming down to fall asleep. Just like a kid that just needed attention, or according to my psychologist uncle... 'my ego was completely wiped out which is supposed to protect me from what happened'... according to Einstein he said. Anyway that’s my story, I didn't die of insomnia after all the drama but I can apparently become so delusional on that shit that I could literally worry myself to death. So drugs are a little scarier for me, yet my curiosity about them has peaked for I've never had or heard of an experience like that, scary or not. Now I'm off to sleep!